[via iceicebabbies] 10. Big League Chew: Commonly known as the gateway drug, Big League Chew tactfully combined elements of both chewing tobacco and metabolic steroids. A half-ounce bag would usually run you about $2.99 at corner 7-11 but the sticky purple usually ran for $3.50 depending on whether or not it was little league season. Once the package was opened, the recommended 30 shred limit was frequently abused and you could get about three good wads in if your friends weren’t around to mooch. Quick flavor bursts and chewability score high marks with your pallete and within seconds your whole world goes pink as an enormous bubble bursts around face. Still, the flavor fades, and it fades fast. Soon one finds themselves with a normal glucose level and suddenly nothing is fun and bubbly anymore. Atleast, not until the next score.
Warning: May blow your brains out.
9. Mega Warheads:
The Mega Warhead drug primarily used to separate the boys from the men, er…slightly older boys. The Warhead was preceded by a mass underground marketing campaign that dared only the craziest, sick and tormented souls to hold a single dose in their mouth for more than 30 seconds while running the risk of having your head explode. This often lead to elementary level peer pressure in the playgrounds. I personally know a few people whose tastebuds were completely wiped out from overdoses and of course my friend Billy who died from mixing too many Sours and Hots (uppers and downers) at the same time. No this drug was not for the weak. Little girls ran away at the mere mention of people doing Mega Warheads. It would be many more years before the tagline: “Nuclear explosion in your mouth” would have any relevance whatsoever.
Hey, I’ll trade you three Pez for a Cig.
8. Candy Cigarettes: Adults were naive to think that cartoon images like Joe Camel had any influence on kids and smoking. It all boiled down to the fact that inhaling air and exhaling ”smoke” is obviously cool, and we didn’t learn that from a camel, we learned it from winter. Normal breathing is boring. Who wouldn’t want the ability to blow O’s especially if society permitted you more opportunities to go outside and take a break. The problem with Candy Cigs was that they didn’t last that long and the Cig itself tasted like flavored chalk. Still, the inner thrill of doing something adults thought was bad made the occasional pack worth it.
“Dude, I think I’m drunk.”
7. Jolt Cola- With the slogan “All the sugar and twice the caffeine,” Jolt cola was the original gangsta of liquid power. Since the term ”energy drinks” had not yet been deemed an acceptable category of beverage, Jolt remained a somewhat taboo indulgence, and certainly off limits for kids. I think it was the all the noise around how bad Jolt was that made it exciting. Unlike “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop,” it was ”how many sips of Jolt until my body goes into convulsions.” I remember drinking a can with some friends outside the local Roller Rink and while I can’t prove it, I am pretty sure that day I set the world record for amount of laps skated to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” I probably had about three cans total until my mom told me it would stunt my growth and that was enough for me. I certainly didn’t want to grow up get older and be a midget.
Drink, and give praise to Allah.
6. The Suicide Slurpee: The picture above pretty much sums it up. To voluntarily mix every flavor of slurpee into one big gulp cup you had to be certifiably insane, yet everyone knows someone who would do it. I mean two or three flavors was one thing. You were just trying to get more variety for your buck, but mixing them all into one concoction ie… “Strawberry, Coconut, Coke, Blue Raspberry, Root Beer, Banana, Lime, Bubble Gum, Mountain Dew, Orange, Vanilla…” Well that’s just disgusting.
Who wants to do a line?
5. Pixie Stix- Out of the top 5 “Hard Core” drugs for kids, Pixie Stix were ( and still are) the most popular. Developed by Wacky Willy Wonka, the white powder pixie dust is composed of Dextrose and Citric Acid cut with 2% artificial flavors. The most common common way of doing Pixie was to pour the powder straight from the wrapper directly into the mouth, thus providing instant gratification and quick absorption into the blood stream. While snorting through a rolled dollar bill was definitely an option, most of the kids in my neighborhood were too concerned about getting boogers on their measly excuse of an allowance to warrant such measures. We didn’t have a lot of money and free-basing pixie powder was as close as we’d ever get to Ricky Schroeder’s Silver Spoons childhood.
4. Mysterious Wax Tubes of Juice (GHB Glow Sticks?) - There was always one or two houses in the neighborhood that would drop these wax tubes of sugar juice that closely resemble glow sticks into your pillow case on Halloween. Where they came from I have no idea. Still to this day I’ve never seen them for sale in stores and I’m not exactly sure what was inside those tubes. I always threw them away. Now that I’m older and proud owner of 5 Law and Order SVU DVD complete sets, I’m convinced that these were date rape glow sticks most commonly found at raves. I don’t know if they came from the houses of pedophiles who were secretly scouting out the kids who marched up their doorsteps asking for a “trick or treat,” or if they were meant as a gift from some college dude who figured a tube would help me get some over the shirt boob. (Hey that rhymed!)
3. Pop Rocks- Whitney Houston’s favorite childhood treat, Pop Rocks were not for recreational Kiddie Drug users. The second a rock is placed on your mouth its carbonized content reacts to the moisture of your tongue and the snap, cracklin, and popping begins. There is no sensation in the world like it. You find yourself pouring the whole package in your mouth to maximize the chemical reaction and for this very reason, your tolerance builds to the point where one package is simply not enough. Before you know it, you find yourself stealing quarters from your mom’s change purse to keep the habit going. Soon your behavior becomes so erratic you do the unthinkable and mix the rocks with soda (even though you know for a fact that your brother knew a guy whose cousin died by trying the very same thing.) By the time you find yourself regurgitating cherry flavored stomach lining it is too late.
Because nothing says “Party Time” like a Hypodermic Needle.
2. SWEET SHOTS- This was just wrong on so many levels. The only explanation I can think of is that some poor corporate creative executive was in charge of coming up with an unconventional way to market flavored sugar goo. After months of failed ideas he was days from losing his job, his family, and everything that mattered if he didn’t come through. So with no place to turn and life hanging in the balance he injected heroin to escape from the pain. Then, just as Dr. House pops a vicodin and comes up with a miraculous last minute cure for an ailing patient, the executive finds the answer to all of his problems thanks to shooting up. Quite an uplifting story if you ask me.
Breaking Bad. Breaking Very Very Bad.
1. Crystal (Meth) Pops- For most of us, being a Kiddie Drug Addict just meant being a little wild from time to time form over indulging in too much sugar. At the very worst you developed type 2 diabetes. Unfortunatey there were some children that stumbled upon candy that were actually highly potent narcotics. Keep that in mind the next time you view someone as being mentally deranged, cause if the wrong candy fell into our hands it very well could have been one of us.
At age 11, Vince “Sham Wow” Shlomi became addicted to his mom’s ”lollipops” that happened to be actual sticks of chrystal meth amphetamines. Poor guy.
Ok, that wasn’t so hard right? Who has comments to share with the group?
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Call it an unexpected consequence of the bad economy: A recent round of staff reductions at Disneyland could result in the return of embarrassing episodes of public nudity at the Happiest Place on Earth. [via latimes]
Way back in 1997, a front-page story in the Los Angeles Times chronicled a scintillating Internet phenomenon involving the Anaheim theme park’s Splash Mountain log ride: Photos of women flashing their breasts at an automatic camera that snapped souvenir photographs during the final 50-foot drop were “unzip-a-dee-doo-dahing” their way around cyberspace, earning the ride the dubious nickname “Flash Mountain.”
At the time, Disneyland officials blamed a rogue employee for leaking the obscene pictures of topless women onto the Web and instituted tighter photo editing procedures to prevent further breaches. (NSFW websites dedicated to Flash Mountain still exist — we’ll let you do your own Google search.)
Now, flash forward to 2009. Starting in May, the Splash Mountain photo editor positions will be eliminated as part of cost-cutting measures at Disneyland, according to MiceAge columnist Al Lutz.
“Admittedly the numbers of young ladies (term used loosely in this case) who lift their tops for the cameras for their shot at Flash Mountain infamy has lessened over the years,” wrote Lutz, who reports that the photo editing positions were eliminated months ago at the Splash Mountain ride in Florida.
Of course, a lot has changed since 1997. The advent of Internet-enabled camera phones means theme park visitors who snap photos of the souvenir pictures on the preview screens can now spread the lewd and obscene images instantly across the Web at the speed of Twitter.
“Once word gets around that naughty photos are once again popping up on the projection screens, more guests will want to see what they can get away with,” Koenig said.
Disneyland officials confirmed that Splash Mountain photo screeners would be redeployed to other positions as of May 3.
“In evaluating the ride photo moderation role and process, we have determined that actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare,” Disneyland spokesperson Betsy Sanchez said in a written statement. “Ride photos will continue to be monitored by cast members at the point of sale. In addition, the current screening system will remain intact to provide the option for management to initiate image monitoring if necessary.”
As always, Disneyland reserves the right to remove any visitor from the park who exhibits offensive or inappropriate behavior, Sanchez said. Did you like this post? Leave your comments below! Found this Post interesting? Receive new posts via RSS(What is RSS?) or Subscribe to CR by Email
For a disease epidemic to achieve the illustrious status of being pandemic, it needs to do a little globetrotting. It needs to spread from person to person, from country to country. Well, with cases of Swine flu, which originated in Mexico, turning up in the U.S., Canada, Spain, New Zealand, the U.K. and the Middle East, the World Health Organization has raised the global pandemic alarm to 4 out of a 6 phase system. Phase 4 is described as: Verified human-to-human transmission able to cause community-level outbreaks. Significant increase in risk of a pandemic. [via highestfive]
The Swine flu is a descendant of the Spanish flu, a worldwide spread of influenza which killed millions. Health officials are doing everything they can to prepare for any advances the Swine flu makes towards a level 6 pandemic, and while casualties have only reached 150 people, let’s have a look at five of the deadliest pandemics this planet has ever witnessed.
Smallpox
They were brave warriors who vastly outnumbered their European invaders. They were no match however, for Old World diseases like smallpox, which wiped out 90 to 95% of the native population inhabiting the Americas. In the last hundred years, smallpox has caused the deaths of over 300 million people across the globe. Throughout the 18th century it killed over 60 million people in Europe alone. And according to the World Health Organization (WHO), 15 million contracted the disease and two million died as recently as 1967 (source).
Smallpox, which only exists in humans, has been decimating populations for thousands of years. It is said to have begun in Egypt nearly four thousand years ago, and as people began to travel the world they began to spread the disease to India, China, Japan, Europe, America, and even Australia. It causes sufferers to have fluid filled blisters in their throats, mouths, and on their skin. Depending on the constitutions of the carrier, smallpox would lead to blindness, disfigurement, and death. Of the two types of smallpox, Variola major and Variola minor, the former causes most of the casualties as the rashes are more extreme and the fever much higher.
In 1796, Dr. Edward Jenner in England discovered that by inoculating a young boy with the fluid from a cowpox lesion, the young boy became immune to smallpox. He is credited with the world’s first “vaccination,” as the word comes from the Latin word “vacca” meaning cow. Smallpox was declared eradicated on May 8th, 1980.
Cholera
When a human eats food or drinks water that has been infected with the bacterium Vibrio cholerae, he or she can be dead in less than 4 hours without the proper treatment. The cholera disease attacks the lining of the small intestine and causes incredible amounts of diarrhea, vomiting, fever, dehydration, a critical drop in blood pressure, exhaustion and death.
The first outbreak of cholera reared its nasty head in 1817 in Calcutta, after the great Kumbh festival at Hardwar in the Upper Ganges of India. The festival attracted thousands of people from all over the country. Pilgrims from the Lower Bengal brought the bacterium to the party, and as they relieved themselves in the Ganges River, which was shared by everybody during the three month festival, they started a pandemic which would spread to the four corners of the earth. Travellers were literally bringing boatloads of the disease from port to port as they sailed the oceans from country to country. During the 19th century alone Asia, Europe, Africa, and North America all reported death tolls from the hundreds of thousands, to the millions as a result of cholera. India got hit the hardest however, with estimated deaths of nearly 40 million people.
Influenza
The prize for the Most Globally Devastating Epidemic goes to the influenza or Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918-1919. Just as World War I was coming to an end, thousands of people around the world were suddenly getting sick with what they believed at the time to be a common cold. In less than two years, an estimated 20-100 million people around the world were dead from type A influenza, wiping out 2.5% to 5% of the world’s population. It was widely believed that this was mother nature’s response to the death and destruction which occurred during the Great War. The end of the war certainly helped to spread the disease, as millions of infected soldiers brought it back to their home countries when the fighting was over. By 1919, 25% of Americans were infected with influenza.
The disease was widely spread in the air from coughing and sneezing, from contact with saliva, feces and blood. Symptoms included fever, muscle aches (especially in the back and legs), headaches, coughing, and overall weakness. As was mentioned earlier, it is for these reasons that many people perished without any treatment. They thought they had a common cold, and in less than a day, they’d be gone. Severe pneumonia was also a symptom of influenza infection, which would easily claim the lives of the already weakened victims.
Black Death
In the four years between 1347 and 1351, 75 million people died as the result of a bacterium called Yersinia pestis, or the plague. Stories vary as to where the disease started, but some believe that it began in the lungs of the bobac variety of marmot in China. Fleas would then bite the marmots, and would subsequently infect every animal they would bite afterwards, especially rats. These diseased rats and fleas would follow merchants in ships as they sailed along trade routes across Asia and into Europe.
One group sailing towards Europe was a Tartar army from central Asia, who in their attempts to conquer a small city in the Crimea, were all but wiped out from some mysterious disease. As they departed in defeat they hurled the corpses of their infected soldiers into the heart of the city via catapults. A group of Italian merchants who were living in the city at the time quickly left the city and made their way back home in twelve vessels. Not only were most of the sailors dead or dying by the time they reached Sicily, but they had brought enough infected fleas and rate to spread the plague throughout Europe and into Northern Africa. Out of 40 million people living in Europe at the time, 25 million perished.
The plague manifested itself in three forms: bubonic, pneumonic, and septicemic. Sufferers of the bubonic plague would develop swollen lymph nodes or buboes on their necks, armpits, and groin. These skin bubbles would ooze blood, puss, and would turn black as the skin decays. Sufferers would usually die within a week. Pneumonic plague would infect the lungs causing victims to suffocate or drown, and the septicemic plague is a form of blood poisoning which rots the extremities and turns the skin black.
Malaria
As far as the animal kingdom is concerned, mosquitoes kill more humans than all the others combined. A tiny bite from this tiny f$%&er is all it takes to infect someone with Plasmodium, a nasty little parasite which multiplies in the liver and then goes on to infect the red blood cells. If gone untreated, malaria can kill its victim in less than two weeks, disrupting the blood supply to vital organs. While the malaria pandemic has spread to the Americas and various parts of Asia, 85-90% of the fatalities occur in sub-Saharan Africa, where the parasite kills over one million people per year. Plasmodium has co-existed with humans for over 10,000 years, but President Obama has declared that the United States, along with its world partners, will work to eradicate malaria by 2015.
Additional: AIDS
In the 30 years scientists first discovered the existence of the AIDS virus, more than 25 million people worldwide have died from AIDS infections. According to World Health Organization (WHO), close to 40 million people are currently infected with HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) which is the virus that causes AIDS.
Although the number of people infected with AIDS continues to rise around the world, parts of Africa maintain the highest number of HIV infected. Sub-Sahara Africa accounts for over 60% of all HIV positive cases for the entire world.
Human Immunodeficiency virus is passed from person to person when infected blood, semen, or vaginal secretions come in contact with an uninfected person’s broken skin or mucous membranes.
Since this article was first written, there has only been one swine flu related death outside of Mexico. A 23-month-old toddler passed away in Houston, Texas this week, the family of which has received the “thoughts and prayers” from President Obama. The child was a resident of Mexico, and of the 66 cases of the flu in the U.S. and 13 in Canada, all can be traced back to Mexican visits. If you or anyone you know has been to Mexico recently or has come into contact with someone who has, and you’re experiencing respiratory problems, fever, sever coughing, headaches, vomiting and or diarrhea, you should seek medical attention as soon as possible. If caught early, the swine flu is treatable, it can be stopped from spreading to others, and will hopefully never reach the levels of casualties of pandemics past.
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This animated map provides a striking visual of employment trends over the last business cycle using net change in jobs from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics on a rolling 12-month basis. Read more…
The animated map makes clear that this recession has not treated all regions equally. But no matter where you are in the country, these trying times require a response. Read more…
It's hard to say, exactly, what the worst part about stress is. Is it the tightness that starts somewhere around your solar plexus, then extends out to your toenails, earlobes, and cerebellum? Is it randomly snapping at innocent and, occasionally, quite guilty coworkers and loved ones? Is it sobbing quietly behind the closed door of a men's-room stall? [via menshealth]
Uh, sorry, did we say that last one out loud?
The point is, stress attacks in all sorts of ways which means that if you want to control it, contain it, conquer it, you need to fire back in kind. That's why we've spent the past several months devouring studies and cross-examining experts to find the 31 best stress-busting tips of all time. We won't lie it was a bear of a job, and there were desperate moments when we thought we actually smelled smoke coming from the old cerebellum (see quiet sobbing in men's room, above). But when we sat down and read the advice we'd compiled and then started following it we suddenly felt much, much better.
Soon you will, too.
1. Drink More OJ Researchers at the University of Alabama fed rats 200 milligrams of vitamin C twice a day and found that it nearly stopped the secretion of stress hormones. If it relaxes a rat, why not you? Two 8-ounce glasses of orange juice daily gives you the vitamin C you need.
2. Put a Green Dot on Your Phone This is your secret reminder to take one deep breath before you answer a call, says Susan Siegel, of the Program on Integrative Medicine at the University of North Carolina school of medicine. Not only will you feel better, but you'll sound more confident.
3. Spend Quality Time with a Canine Yours or someone else's. According to research at the State University of New York at Buffalo, being around a pet provides more stress relief than being around a two-legged companion. As if we needed a study to determine that.
4. Go to Starbucks with Your Coworkers Researchers at the University of Bristol in England discovered that when stressed-out men consumed caffeine by themselves, they remained nervous and jittery. But when anxious men caffeine-loaded as part of a group, their feelings of stress subsided.
5. Shake It Out When you're facing that big-money putt, shake out your fingers, relieving the tension in your forearms, hands, and wrists and shifting your focus to the only thing you can control: your preshot routine. You won't think about making or missing the shot, says Alan Goldberg, Ed.D., a sports-psychology consultant in Amherst, Massachusetts.
6. Listen to Music at Work And make it the blandest playlist you can create. According to a study at Pennsylvania's Wilkes University, Muzak lowers your stress levels at work, while also reducing the risk of the common cold. We knew Celine Dion had a purpose.
7. Shut Up and Smile Freaking out about a speech? Smile, look at the audience, and keep quiet for 2 seconds, says T.J. Walker, president of Media Training Worldwide. It'll slow you down and create the impression that you're relaxed and in control. The audience will then feel more comfortable, leading you to actually be relaxed and in control. Now start talking. Unless you're a mime. In that case, as you were.
8. Talk with Your Hands To keep calm in a job interview, rest your arms on your lap, with your elbows bent slightly, and have your fingers almost touching, says Walker. This will keep your body relaxed, which will keep your tone conversational.
9. Run Fast Bike hard. Punch the heavy bag. And we don't mean your mother-in-law. A University of Missouri at Columbia study found that 33 minutes of high-intensity exercise helps lower stress levels more than working out at a moderate pace. What's more, the benefits last as long as 90 minutes afterward.
10. Hit the Sauna After Your Workout In an Oklahoma State University study, those who combined sauna use with group counseling had greater stress relief, feelings of relaxation, and sense of accomplishment compared with those who only had their heads shrunk.
11. Remember the Lyrics to Your Favorite Song . . . . . . name at least 30 states, or assemble the All-Time Band of Guys Named James (the James Gang doesn't count). In other words, give your mind any all-consuming challenge, as long as it has a definite finish ”unending problems cause more stress, says Toby Haslam-Hopwood, Psy.D., a psychologist at the Menninger Clinic in Houston.
12. Lay The Journey to Wild Divine It's a CD-ROM game that works like this: Three biofeedback sensors worn on your fingers sense your stress level and translate it into your ability to perform tasks such as levitating virtual balls or controlling birds in flight. The more you play, the more mastery you gain over your emotions. Go to wilddivine.com for more information. It sells for about $300.
13. Find a Breathtaking View Now take a breath and a good long look. You'll walk away from the brink with a sense of context and a bigger perspective, which will make the 5,000 things on your to-do list seem less daunting, says Allen Elkin, Ph.D., director of the Stress Management & Counseling Center in New York City.
14. Imagine You're on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire When dealing with a screaming child in a car or any other acutely stressful situation, ask yourself how long you could listen to it if someone gave you $100,000, suggests Elkin. Suddenly, it's not so awful, is it?
15. Say You're Sorry What, now the kid is screaming on a crowded airplane? Immediately apologize to everyone around you. By acknowledging that you may have made a mistake or hurt someone else, you can help clear the air, and that will reduce your stress level, says Charles Emery, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Ohio State University.
16. Forgive Now someone else's kid is screaming on a crowded airplane? And the mom is too wrapped up in this week's People to do a thing about it? Let it go, says Carl Thoresen, Ph.D., a psychologist at Stanford University. Realizing that you can't control someone else's behavior is difficult, but it's one of the best ways to destress.
17. Add Trees to Your Commute Even if it takes you out of your way, it may make your ride less stressful. An Ohio State University study found that scenic drives were more calming than those involving strip malls and endless, disheartening asphalt.
18. Water a Plant It's nurturing, it doesn't take up much space, and for 10 seconds, the world is not about you, which can be a huge psychological relief, says Elkin.
19. Ditch the Dingy Shower Curtain And hang up something in a cool color like green or blue. According to Leonard Perry, Ph.D., an extension professor at the University of Vermont, cool hues are more soothing.
20. Schedule Medical Tests for Early Morning Rather than spend the entire day anxious about an afternoon DRE, get fingered first thing in the a.m., when your cortisol levels are already naturally elevated, says David Spiegel, M.D., medical director of the Stanford Center for Integrative Medicine.
21. Meditate Researchers at West Virginia University found that 35 participants who underwent "mindfulness meditation" saw a 44 percent reduction in psychological distress over 3 months. Just sit quietly for 10 minutes a day and focus on your breathing.
22. Find a Shoe-Shine Guy When Your Flight's Delayed Walking lessens the frustration, and having a destination keeps your mind busy, says Michael Nuccitelli, Psy.D., a psychologist in Brewster, New York. You'll also have fine-looking shoes. And if this magazine has taught you anything, it's that ladies notice fine-looking shoes.
23. Call Your Travel Agent When the Boss Calls You on the Carpet Not only will you see the calming light at the end of a stressful tunnel, but your work will improve, says Srini Pillay, M.D., director of the Panic Disorders Research Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. Schedule the trip far enough ahead so it doesn't look like a reaction to the blowup.
24. Put a Hole in a Tennis Ball and Squeeze Let the tension build up in your hand and the rest of your body, then release. This increases relaxation, Elkin says. Tennis balls are those yellowy things people hit around in the '70s and '80s.
25. Have Sex Either with or without a partner. An orgasm releases beta-endorphins, the body's natural, less punk-rock version of heroin, so you'll definitely be feeling no pain, says Nuccitelli.
26. Play in the Dirt Want to be the MVP of your softball league? When you're batting with the winning run on base, step into the box, pick out a mark in the dirt, and rub it out with your foot, says Goldberg. By symbolically "rubbing out" the past, you'll focus on the now and not the last three times you struck out.
27. Stop Checking Your Portfolio A study of Hong Kong investors found that those who keep a close eye on their stocks are more likely to be stressed out. Instead, get educated at a site like fool.com. Those who saw the bigger financial picture felt better.
28. Call a Friend on the First Day of a New Job And take several brief breaks throughout the day. By slowing things down, you'll feel as if you have more control in the new work environment, and that will ultimately reduce your stress level, says Emery.
29. Add 10 Minutes to Your ETA When you're stuck in traffic, call whomever you need to and tell them you'll be late but add 10 minutes to your revised arrival time, says Dr. Pillay. Missing deadlines is stressful. Avoid missing another one.
30. Hold Your Girlfriend's Hand for 10 Minutes A University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill study found that loving contact lowers blood-pressure and heart-rate responses in stressful situations. In the study, those who experienced contact were nearly twice as relaxed as the unloved, untouched group.
31. Give Up the Butts Researchers on the European Board for Research on Nicotine and Tobacco found that nicotine suppresses the stress-fighting hormone serotonin. It also triggers the release of the chemical dopamine, which stimulates pleasure centers in the brain. The problem: Dopamine levels soon drop and leave the body craving more, making you incredibly anxiousรข€”and jonesing another smoke.
32. Remember, It's Not About You Before you fire someone, depersonalize the situation. He's getting axed because he screwed up or the company has to shed weight. It's not your fault, Nuccitelli says. Give yourself 15 minutes beforehand to say this, until it becomes foremost in your thoughts.
33. Eat a Small Bowl of Whole-Wheat Pasta 1 to 2 Hours Before a First Date A study in Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research shows that taking in complex carbohydrates can help boost the brain's levels of the hormone serotonin. Impaired serotonin levels can lead to depression, anxiety, and aggression none of which is attractive on a date.
34. Resand that Old Dresser Harness your excess stress by tackling a large project that requires a lot of physical energy. "Next time you start thinking, I'm stressed, replace that thought with I have a high energy level then use the energy," says Jay Winner, M.D., author of Stress Management Made Simple. Note: Foreplay counts as a large project requiring a lot of physical energy.
35. Press Your Dress Shirts The repetitive motions of ironing can send you into a trancelike state, which puts your brain on autopilot and helps block out stressful thoughts, says Dr. Winner. And no more unsightly wrinkles!
36. Turn It into a Game When you sense customer service/human resources/the insurance company starting to screw you, say, "Oh, I get it. They're trying to screw me. Let's see what happens." Now it's a game, not a personal attack. Your stress will go down with the shift in perspective, says Reef Karim, M.D., a psychiatrist at UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute.
37. Predict the Future Whether it's a woman you have to dump or a coworker you have to confront, anticipate all the outcomesรข€”tears, screaming, excuses. Familiarity prevents surprises, and that slashes stress, Dr. Karim says.
38. Make a Schedule If the boss suddenly dumps a big project on you, try not to say, "I can't do this. I'm gonna get fired." (Try particularly not to say this in front of your boss.) Instead, present him with a schedule outlining when things can be done. What was overwhelming is now under control and open to negotiation, says James Blumenthal, Ph.D., a psychologist at Duke University.
39. Stay Awake Till 3 a.m Too stressed to sleep? Vow to stay awake for 30 minutes. You've removed the stress of not being able to fall asleep which may relax you enough that you will fall asleep, says Bill Roedel, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Bastyr University in Kenmore, Washington.
40. Get Out of Debt Denial Maxed-out MasterCard? Do the no-duh obvious: Meet with a financial planner. According to a Virginia Tech study, those who received credit counseling saw their overall stress level move from "severe" or "overwhelming" to "moderate" or "low" 1 year later.
41. Drive Like Keith Moon Not drunk, but drumming on your dashboard. A study in Advances in Mind Body Medicine showed that group drumming alleviated stress. A drum solo may bring similar benefits.
42. Find the Good Missed a deadline? Appreciate what you learned about planning ahead. Kids kept you up with a stomach flu? Be grateful this is the only health woe facing your family. By finding the good in a stressor, you reduce the intensity, says Dr. Winner.
43. Buy the Right Kind of Christmas Tree That is, not an artificial one. When the holidays approach, pick up a real Norway spruce or Scotch pine. The natural scent of pine is calming, says Janis Burke, an aromatherapist at Washington State University's college of nursing.
44. Rest Between Workouts Overtraining can actually cause stress. According to a report in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research, excessive training elevates cytokine levels in the blood, which tells the brain to raise cortisol levels, which tells you to freak out!
45. Climb a Mountain Unless you're afraid of heights. According to a Texas A&M study, rock climbers and hikers have lower stress levels than their less rugged peers. The same skills that help people navigate successfully through the wilderness may help them keep calm when navigating the office.
46. Hike the High Country High-altitude air is charged with negative ions. "When you breathe them in, it's relaxing and rejuvenating," says Mark Liponis, M.D., medical director at the Canyon Ranch Spa in Lenox, Massachusetts.
47. Go for a Swim During the day, your legs collect pools of lymphatic fluid, an excess of which can make you uncomfortable and irritable until you take a dip, says Dr. Liponis. "It squeezes all the lymphatic fluid back into your heart and out through your kidneys," he says. Think of the postswim pee as liquid stress leaving your body.
48. Hold Your Tongue When your annoying colleague decides to be annoying once again, tell yourself, I choose to be calm, says Siegel. Ah, now it's a choice, and you choose to be master and commander of the ship.
49. Unwind Online Instead of surfing for porn at work, stay employed and go to stressremedy.com. Shut your door, turn up your speakers, and click on "Relax Now" for a 6-minute, audio-guided relaxation exercise based on deep breathing and meditation.
50. Grab Your Ears Tug your lobes (lightly) and move them in circles in opposite directions for a count of 10, says Elizabeth Cornell, of the Muscular Therapy Center in New York City. The motion moves the tentorium membrane in your head, which can relieve stress. You'll also be in fighting shape for charades.
51. Chug a Big Glass of Cold Water Because? Not sure, says Nuccitelli. "I have no idea why it works, but I've seen it be effective." Besides, when is it bad to be hydrated?
52. Find Your Smell Aromas trigger strong connections to good memories, says Haslam-Hopwood. Unless you were forced to work in a bakery as a child, fresh bread works. Vanilla and orange are other options. Did you like this post? Leave your comments below! Found this Post interesting? Receive new posts via RSS(What is RSS?) or Subscribe to CR by Email
Remember the classic video games? The 8-bit masterpieces of our sweaty-palmed youth. Inviting some friends over for a Maniac Mansion all-nighter, huffing asthmatically into a cartridge to clear out the dust, or the thrill and crushing disappointment of rescuing a princess, only to discover you’ve really just saved a fungus. [via amog]
These games aren’t lost forever. You can still play many of them online. If you love the old classics, this list should have you busy for months. Below is a list of 95oldschool video games that you can play online. Click on each title to link directly to the game. Also, we’ve reviewed and rated each game for you, our loyal AMOG readers.
(1 through 4) 1941: Counter Attack, 1942, 1943 Kai, and 1943: The Battle of Midway
Perhaps kicking off gamedom’s WWII fetish, this series drops you in the pilot’s seat of a fighter jet. Your job is to shoot down all the enemy aircraft without getting shot down. None of these game really differ much and the gameplay is relatively the same.
I recommend checking out all four of these games, but don’t try to wrap your mind around the titles (1941 came out after 1942 and 1943? And why would the counter attack be the first game, chronologically speaking? Shouldn’t there be an attack first?) If it gets too confusing, try to think of it as the Temple of Doom of video games. Came out after Raiders, but takes place beforehand.
Get from one house to another by jumping onto the moving platforms. Since you are a cat, you have– you guessed it– nine lives. Beware of the dog. If it catches you, you lose a life. However, if you catch a mouse, you get extra points. Also, watch out for the creepy old lady. If she grabs you, she’ll declaw you and make you have a tea party with the dozens of other rescues she adopts, even though her lease clearly says no pets. HIGHLIGHT FOR A SPOILER ALERT: THERE’S NO OLD LADY IN THIS GAME. But it’d be awesome if there was, right?
For “Arkanoid”, the game play is simple. You move your paddle at the bottom of the screen so the ball bounces off you and destroys each brick of the barricade. There are certain bricks that will fall toward your paddle, and if you catch them, you get extra points. But be careful not to lose your ball at the same time.
This game’s been released under a slew of other names. I had it on my oldschool cinderblock-sized Gameboy under the name Alleyway. If you’ve heard of any other clones, drop them in the comments.
This game puts the old in “oldschool gaming.” It came out the same year Margaret Thatcher came to power, and inspired one of the best lines in “National Lampoon’s Vacation.”
If you’ve never played “Asteroids,” (that is, if you’re Amish and on rumspringa,) the object is to score as many points as you can by shooting and destroying asteroids and enemy spaceships. However, when you shoot a large asteroid, it breaks into two smaller asteroids and they change direction and move faster than the larger asteroid. “Asteroids” is one of the first video games where it appeared that your ship was actually moving in space.
No, this isn’t the Ben Bernanke story. The towns people need your help because bank robbers are trying to rob a bank. Your job as the sheriff is to shoot them. It’s okay to shoot before they draw their weapons, but you get more points for shooting after they draw. Just like the real police!
The object of “Battle City” is to destroy all your enemy’s tanks while protecting your base. There are a total of 35 stages, each getting progressively more difficult, with different obstacles and terrain. The game play is extremely slow, but the moves on the controls are also slow, so the game is still challenging. The first few stages aren’t too challenging, but it’s very difficult to beat the entire game.
In “Black Tiger,” your mission is to save the villagers by defeating the monsters. A fairly straightforward concept, this is the game that built the foundation for all RPGs. A platformer with eight levels, you search for keys, magic potions, and treasure chests throughout the game.
Not to be confused with a midget riding a mutant in “Beyond The Thunderdome,” “Blaster Master” was a popular game from the late ’80s where you used a futuristic tank to destroy your enemies. Each level had a different layout that you had to navigate. Your tank could jump in addition to firing weapons, which came in handy in the game’s difficult terrain.
The object of this platform game is to defuse all of the bombs while avoiding the enemies. You get extra bonus points if you defuse the bombs in a certain sequence.
The goal of this very simplistic, yet extremely addicting platform game is to conquer all of the enemies by shooting bubbles at them. That’s really it. There’s nothing more to it, but once you start playing it, it’s difficult to stop. This was a fantastic two-player NES game, and my brother and I would play until we passed out from pixel overload.
Destroy the bubbles by shooting them. When you shoot the large bubble, two smaller bubbles bounce around and you must shoot them without getting hit by them. The higher the level, the more difficult it becomes. If it sounds easy, try. You’ll be surprised how challenging it really is. But it begs the question: What did these balloons ever do to you? If you know (or just feel like making something up,) drop a line in the comments.
This is another early 80s platform game. In “Burgertime,” you’re a chef. Your mission: to build burgers by running over each item on the burger before the enemies attack. It’s a silly concept (a tiny chef trying to make gigantic burgers while being attacked by pickles? And why can’t you toast those buns?) But you can’t help but be amused when you play “Burgertime”. Once you play it, you’ll realize why it was one of the most popular games of the early 1980s.
“Centipede” is my favorite game of this era. It goes like this: a centipede walks the top of the screen and while you try to shoot it from the bottom. The object is to eliminate every section of the centipede before it reaches you. There are mushroom-looking obstacles in the way that you can also shoot. A spider periodically comes across the bottom of the screen in a random pattern, and you can shoot it for points or it die when it hits you. On each level, the centipede would go faster.
“Millipede” is the sequel to “Centipede.” It’s essentially the same game, but with new enemies and a longer insect. The game play is the same, so you basically have more of the same video fun.
“Circus Charlie” is a platform video game with a very simple concept. Charlie is a clown, and you have him perform stunts without making mistakes. There are only 6 stages in the game.
In Stage 1, Charlie rides a lion and jumps through hoops of fire.
In Stage 2, Charlie walks across a tightrope– which would be a lot easier if monkeys weren’t trying to knock him off. Your job in this stage is to maneuver around the monkeys without allowing them to knock you off the rope.
Stage 3 is where Charlie jumps from one trampoline to another. The difficulty comes in when the other circus performers throw knives and fire at him (what kind of workplace is this, where your co-workers throw knives while you’re trying to simply entertain some children? Come on, Charlie! Just get fired and collect unemployment already.) You must avoid these flying objects while helping Charlie jump on each trampoline.
In Stage 4, Charlie must avoid obstacles while walking atop a rubber ball and in Stage 5, Charlie must avoid obstacles while riding on a horse.
In the final stage, Stage 6, Charlie swings on the trapeze while avoiding obstacles.
This was one of Capcom’s first games for the NES. The setting is World War II, and it’s jsut you against hordes of Nazi troops. You’re given a limited number of grenades, but an unlimited amount of ammunition for your gun. Some wander around in the open, but others hide out behind bunkers or on bridges. You can find extra grenades, and you’ll need ‘em as they have a greater range than the rifle.
If you like role playing games, then you’ll love one of the originals, “Conan” by Mindscape, Inc. You fight skeletons, demons, and a huge fire breathing dog that will kick your ass nine times out of ten. You mainly use hand to hand combat by kicking or punching the enemy. However, you can also use a sword, but keep in mind that this game was released in 1990, so the sword is about as effective as kicking and punching. Though the graphics suck, if you like the classics, then you should check out “Conan” .
“Contra” is to shoot ‘em up platformers as “Lethal Weapon” is to buddy cop movies. Which is to say, it’s the homoerotic original that spawned a genre. You are a (shirtless) warrior and must defeat the enemy on land and in water by — no points for originality — shooting them. Why couldn’t any NES games involve diplomatic sanctions? You also have a jumping capability to try to maneuver around the enemy. But beware of the tanks and cannons stationed in different areas. “Contra” is known for its difficulty and speed. But don’t worry, you’ve got The Konami Code.
“Super Contra” has the same gameplay as “Contra”. However, the graphics are better and pretty impressive for its time. If you want a challenge, play these two games by Konami.
Like “Space Invaders”, only a platformer. You’re the pilot of a space ship and shoot enemy aliens in hopes to defend your planet’s people below. The object is to shoot all of the aliens before they abduct all of the people. The game play is rather simple, but the game is a blast to play.
If you grew up in the 1980s, you’ll definitely remember “Dig Dug”. The object of this maze-like game is to get rid of all of the monsters underneath the ground by either dropping rocks on them or inflating them until they pop. Just describing it puts a smile on my face. This is another silly game from the early 1980s, but personally I like the silly games because it takes you far away from reality and lightens your mood. Also, with such shitty graphics, there’s no chance of an Uncanny Valley effect.
“Dig Dug II” wasn’t as successful as the original, but was no less fun. Instead of a side view, it was overhead, and you have a jackhammer in addition to your pump that you can use to cut away at your island and send monsters into the ocean.But be careful– if you’re on the wrong side of the fault line, you’ll fall in too.
(26 through 28) Donkey King, Donkey Kong Jr., and Donkey Kong 3
You must be from another planet if you’ve never heard of Donkey Kong. In this game, Donkey Kong makes his debut as a kidnapper/barrel throwing enthusiast. You play as Mario and the goal is to rescue the girl while jumping over DK’s barrels. Bonus points go to anyone who knows the rationale behind naming a gorilla “Donkey.”
How’s this for a change of pace? In “Donkey Kong Junior”, Mario is the villain. He’s captured Donkey Kong and his son, Donkey Kong Junior must rescue him by climbing jungle vines while sharp-toothed predators attack him.
“Donkey Kong 3″ was even more simplistic than its two predecessors, but far less successful. You’re a bugman, and DK has taken up residence in your greenhouse. You want to spray Donkey Kong while protecting yourself and your flowers from insects. It’s basically “Galaxian” with gorillas.
In “Dragon’s Lair”, your play as Dirk the Daring as you attempt to rescue Princess Daphne. But first, you must slay creatures like bats and a huge dragon. The gameplay is slow and fairly easy, but your character also moves very slowly, so it kind of balances out. This game had some of the best graphics seen in a videogame up until then, thanks to laserdiscs and the involvement of veteran Diseney animator Don Bluth. It’s kind of a cute game now, but was a major hit in the ’80s– so much so that many machines broke from overuse.
This simple maze-like game was one of the hundreds of Pac-Man clones. The gameplay is easy. All you have to do is get to the center bonus square before your enemies attack you. When you get to the center, numbers are exposed in each square. You want to try to “run” across the highest numbers possible. This also triggers an attack mode for your enemies but, just like Pac-Man, it doesn’t last long. This wasn’t a really popular game in the 1980s, but it is a little like Pac-Man, so it’s worth giving it a try.
If you’ve never played “Duck Hunt”, you’re really missing out. This was unbelievable fun with the NES Zapper, but I don’t know how it translates to the web. But in this game, your hunting dog hides in the grass. When you successfully shoot down a duck, your dog grabs it and show his approval. If you miss and ducks fly away, your dog laughs at you, mostly just to be a dick. This is a video game that everyone should try.
This early 1980s video game, like most from the time period, has a simple concept. You are on an elevator of a building. There are men dressed in black that open doors, jump out, and try to shoot you. You’ll want to shoot them first. The elevator goes up and down and you can stay in the elevator, leave the elevator, ride on top of the elevator, or use the stairs. It’s a cute platform type game from the 1980s that is unbelievably addicting.
We first saw this cute little frog in 1981. All the little amphibian wanted was to cross the street or stream safely. However, it must’ve been rush hour because there are tons of vehicles driving on this busy road and Frogger must cross without getting hit. Then he encounters streams with flowing logs, lily pads, turtles, and alligators, which he must jump on to cross the stream without getting wet. Why? Because this is the first frog in history who can’t swim.
The first several levels are pretty easy, but then the game gets quite challenging. “Frogger” is one of those old time gaming staples that everyone should experience. Side Note: It’s George Costanza’s favorite game.
(NOTE FOR ONLINE USE: Use the arrow keys to control the direction of your ship and the “Control” key to fire.)
Released: 1979
Popularity around release date: 5/5
Difficulty: 2/5
Fun: 5/5
Uniqueness: 2/5
Sound: 3/5
Graphics: 2/5
“Galaxian” is a game from the late 1970s in an outer space setting, like a lot of games from back then. Your ship is at the bottom of the screen, and you can only move left or right. Like “Space Invaders,” the object is to shoot all of the alien ships. But unlike “Invaders,” these ships occasionally dive bomb you. “Galaxian” was a pioneering game for many reasons. It was first with multi-colored animated sprites and explosions, a crude theme song, different colored fonts for the score and high score, and more prominent background music and graphic icons that showed the number of ships left and how many rounds the player had completed. How did people play games before this?
The graphics are better in “Galaga”, the sequel to “Galaxian”, but the game play is really no different. So, if you love “Galaxian”, then you’ll also love “Galaga”.
RED WARRIOR NEEDS FOOD BADLY! “Gauntlet” is one of the original fantasy video games. You can play as a Warrior, Valkyrie, Wizard, or Elf, and if you can round up three friends, you can all play at once. This game set the stage for the MMORPGs of today.
Throughout the game, you find potions that you can use to destroy all of the ghosts at once. Otherwise, you must shoot them one by one. There are skull and crossbones that spawn ghosts located throughout each level that you can destroy. You’ll also find food for energy and treasures, which give you extra points. If you want to see what the early fantasy games were like, try “Gauntlet”.
“Goemon” is based on a legendary ninja warrior named Ishikawa Goemon. In this platform game, you go through as many screens as you can while fighting enemies in hand-to-hand combat and collecting as many items (for points) as possible.
Feasting on the banquet of mid ’80s Cold War paranoia, your mission in this game is to rescue several POWs from a Russian (that is, Rush N’) camp. Of course, this is easier said than done since you must fight in hand-to-hand combat with several pinko bastards. It’s a jingoistic, Regan-era game, so if you’re feeling nostalgic for the red scare, this is the game for you.
In this game, your character is Billy Bob, a big time bounty hunter after ten of the most dangerous men you would never want to meet. Of course, along the way, there are a lot of bad men trying to protect the dangerous criminals and trying to kill Billy Bob. To help you along your way, you may be able to find special items such as a horse (for extra protection against bullets), boots (for speed), a rifle (for longer shots), and bullets (for faster shots).
Instead of a platform game, “Gunsmoke” is an overhead scrolling game, so it’s a little more interesting. Try “Gunsmoke” — it’s quite a challenge.
This is another outer space game from the 1980s, but unlike “Galaga” and “Space Invaders”, you’re not confined to the bottom of the screen. Your ship can move in a circular motion along the outer edge. It’s different, but once you get used to it, you can work up a pretty good strategy. “Gyruss” is a fast-paced game with a lot of challenges.
(NOTE FOR ONLINE USE: The writing is in Japanese, so just click on the second box with your mouse to play. The arrow keys control your movement in the game.)
Released: 1990
Popularity around release date: 2/5
Difficulty: 3/5
Fun: 4/5
Uniqueness: 1/5
Sound: 2/5
Graphics: 4/5
Hexa is a cute little mindless puzzler. Pieces made up of three colors fall into the grid, and you can control their descent. The object is to clear out the grid by matching three or more of the same colors either horizontally, vertically, or diagonally.
(42 through 44) Track and Field, Hyper Sports, and Track and Field II
This game’s title pretty much sums up the concept. Before moving on to the next event, you must first get a qualifying score. The events in this game are:
There are quite a few enhancements to this game compared to its predecessors. First, there are three modes of play: Training (which tests the abilities of a player,) Olympic (where a player competes against the computer) and Versus (which is where two players compete against one another.)
In addition, there were a lot more events, including some repeats from the previous games in the series like:
Fencing
Triple jump
Freestyle swimming
High dive
Clay pigeon shooting
Hammer throw
Tae Kwan Do
Pole vault
Canoeing
Archery
Hurdles
Horizontal bar
Hang gliding
Arm wrestling (for versus mode only)
Since the play is the same in all three games and there are different events in each, I recommend that you check them all out. If you like one of these games, it’s a pretty safe bet that you will like them all.
“Joust” is a simple game in which your character is a knight who rides an ostrich (player 1) or a stork (player 2). The object of the game is to destroy all of the buzzards, their eggs, and their hatchlings. When you destroy a buzzard, you generate an egg, which can be destroyed for extra points. Otherwise, you must contend with the hatchlings. The game is cute, but not too challenging.
“Kung Fu” is an easy but awesome video game. The whole idea is to kick everyone’s ass before they kick yours. People will come up to you, sometimes more than one at a time and from either the right or the left of the screen. The more asses you kick, the more points you get. The controls are simple and it’s only somewhat challenging, but it’s an awesome game from the past.
“Lizard Wizard” or “How I thought up an awesome title but blew it on a lame game.” It rhymes, and it implies two of the greatest things in the world right there in the name! Dinosaurs! Sorcerers! What could go wrong? As it turns out, a lot.
You play as a lizard who must avoid hitting dragons and fireballs. You get points for shooting rocks, fireballs, and dragons. The game is on a static screen and your character can move up, down, left, or right. “Lizard Wizard” is good for a laugh and to try something ancient and cute, but it’s not challenging at all and you WILL (and I say that with 100% confidence) get bored.
Though the graphics on “Lunar Lander” leave a lot to be desired, this is a challenging game and it’s a lot of fun. The goal is to safely land on the landing pad. This is easier said than done, because the Lunar Lander is controlled using sensitive thrusters. You’ll use up quite a bit of fuel just after your first landing, so before going to the next one, you must land for refueling before continuing. You really have to experience it to fully understand how fun this game is.
Before they were super! We first met Mario in the “Donkey Kong” series. “Mario Brothers” is actually a spin-off from “Donkey Kong,” and marks the first time that we see Mario’s brother, Luigi. The object of the game is simple: eliminate all of the enemies that flow out of the pipes. It’s your regular standard platform game from the 1980s. You can jump to avoid the enemies and to bump the floor above your character’s head. If the enemy is above when you bump the floor, they flip onto their back and wait to be destroyed. This is an awesome game and was one of the most popular of its time.
The goal of “Mega Man” is to destroy the evil robots and stop their master, Dr. Wily, from world domination. There are 7 stages in this platform game and the play is pretty much like any standard platformer of its time — fight through a level, beat the boss, rinse and repeat. However, in this game you earn the boss’s special ability after defeating him. Half the game was deciding the order to take the levels on, as you simply couldn’t beat certain levels without other boss’s powers. What was your method?
“Metroid” is a cool platform game that combines action and adventure with shooting. Though the graphics suck, they weren’t too bad for the time period. The music may be a little cheesy, but I think it’s catchy and it puts you in that 1980s game mode. The end of this game sent thousands of players into a downward spiral of gender confusion as they collectively shrieked, “What do you mean I’ve been playing as a girl this whole time?!”
In “Missile Command”, you must protect your city by shooting at missiles and bombs that drop in around you. To add to the complexity of the game, you have three missile stations form which you have to choose. To play, you must move the crosshairs where you want them, choose which missile station you wish to use, and fire. The game play is challenging and very addicting.
Since “Moon Patrol” was released in the early 1980’s, you’ll need to look past the plain graphics, the simple concept, and the corny music. Instead, focus on the gameplay and you’ll have a blast. Your game character is a tank and the game play is to simply jump over pot holes and destroy obstacles and enemies in your path. It may not be very challenging, but it’s funny when your tank hits a hole in the road.
(56 through 60) Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Super Pac-Man, Pac-Man Plus, Jr. Pac-Man, and Pac-Land
“Pac-man” is synonymous with 1980s arcade and video games. When the original “Pac-Man” was released in 1980, it ignited a new craze. A relatively simple game with a static screen, it was, and still is, addicting. There was even a song called “Pac-Man Fever”.
I’ll do us all a favor and not explain how to play. If you’ve never played, come out of your cave and try it. You’ll figure it out right after learning such skills as “not staring directly at the sun” and “how to operate indoor plumbing.”
Sequels were quickly rolled out for this game. There are actually more than just these six in the series, but these are the ones you can play online. All of them, with the exception of “Pac-Land”, have the same basic game play. There are some differences, but the basic principles are the same.
“Pac-land” is the odd-man-out among the Pac games. The objective is for Pac-Man to get the fairy (hiding under his hat, natch) back to “Fairyland”. Of course, along the way there are various obstacles including the infamous ghosts from the original “Pac-Man” video game.
Like a lot of games from the early 1980s, “Phoenix” is outer space-themed. In each level, there are 5 rounds.
In rounds 1 and 2, you must destroy alien birds. Some periodically fly out of formation and attack your ship.
In round two, you have the ability to fire your weapons quicker, but the birds fly more unpredictably.
In rounds 3 and 4, floating eggs quickly hatch into birds that swoop down and attack your ship. The only way to destroy them is by shooting them in the belly.
The fifth and final round of each level consists of you destroying the mother ship, which is very difficult to do.
This game is challenging fun and also challenging and worth checking out.
“Pipe Dream” requires you to lay some pipe (wait for it…) in different shapes in a way that will let the slime ooze through. With each level, you need to have a certain amount of pipes put together within a certain time frame to move on to the next level. With each level, you have to connect more pipe pieces in less time. This should looks familiar to fans of the mini-games in “Bio Shock.” If you like puzzle games, you’ll love “Pipe Dream”.
Whether you were around in the 1980s or not, you should already know that “Pole Position” is a racing game. In the first race, you’re attempting to qualify for a professional race. If you qualify, the next race is the big show– Formula 1 (The NASCAR of the 80s.)
Released: 1772 (Not a typo. This game predates the Revolutionary War. ) Popularity around release date: 4/5 Difficulty: 2/5 Fun: 2/5 Uniqueness: 2/5 Sound: 3/5 Graphics: 2/5
Everyone knows about “Pong”. This game is about as old as you can get on video games, but it’s a classic. It’s very basic, of course. The game play is the same as in tennis, ping pong, volley ball, or badminton. It might be boring to play for hours, but it’s a great game to play while reminiscing about the past or to see where gaming began.
“Ponpoko” is a platform game from the 1980s in which the object is to collect fruits and vegetables while climbing ladders, jumping over gaps in the floor, and avoiding the enemies. Also, there are gold baskets located throughout each level that will contain either fruits, vegetables, or a snake. It’s necessary to open the baskets, because you must collect all of the fruits and vegetables to advance to the next level.
Released: 1982 Popularity around release date: 4/5 Difficulty: 2/5 Fun: 4/5 Uniqueness: 5/5 Sound: (no sound online) Graphics: 4/5
In “Pooyan,” your character is a mother pig who’s trying to protect her babies from wolves. Your character (”Mama”) is in a little elevator car that moves on a pulley. Two of her babies control the pulley. The wolves traveling by going up or down (depending on the level) via balloons (as their species is known to do). The object is to pop their balloons by shooting arrows at them. If you’re unsuccessful, the wolves move up to your area and climb the ladder to get to Mama and her babies.
Oh no! Bluto has kidnapped Olive Oil again! Your mission (as Popeye) is to catch all of the items that Olive Oil drops from above (hearts, musical notes, and the word “help”) without letting Bluto catch you. If you can get a can of spinach, then you can chase after Bluto and beat him up (for extra points, of course). If you’re from the 1980s, you’re sure to remember and love this game. If you’re not, check it out anyway. I think you’ll enjoy it.
The object in “Q*bert” is to hop onto cubes to make them all a certain color while also avoiding any enemies that are attempting to attack you.
In the earlier levels, once you hop on a cube once, the cube stays that color. In later levels, the cube changes colors each time you hop on it, so most of the challenge is the puzzle of how to travel to each cube while making sure the colors are all the same. If it sounds confusing, that’s just because it doesn’t make any sense. Just try it, you’ll see what I mean.
The object of “Qix” is to claim as much of the board as possible. Your enemy in this game is a stick that travels quickly and unpredictably around the screen. Your character is simply a dot. That’s right, nothing fancy - just a dot. Move the dot to draw rectangular shapes before the stick can hit the line that you’re drawing. The edges of the screen are safe, but you must enter the center to score points. You can draw as many rectangles as you need and will only get penalized by losing a life (do dots have lives?) if the entity touches the line that you’re in the process of drawing.
Yep. Another racing game from the ’80s. In this one, you must finish the course before the time is up. Of course, if you hit other cars, you’ll spin out and it slows you down. Also, you’ll run out of gas unless you find the multi-colored cars and run into them. It’s really that basic.
This game is really awesome and is geared more towards the hard core gamers. I’m not sure why “Robotron 2084″ wasn’t more popular upon its release. The objective is to protect and rescue a human family from a swarm of robots. The gameplay is simple but very fast paced. You can shoot the robots or just simply avoid them. Highly recommended.
“Rolling Thunder” is a spy/shooter/platformer. Your mission is to find and rescue a kidnapped female agent by shooting the enemies as you travel through the game. It has basic game play, but it’s still fun. You can definitely see how some the spy games of today evolved from ones like “Rolling Thunder”.
“Scramble” is a side scrolling shoot ‘em up space game where the object is to shoot down the enemy rockets. If one hits you, you lose a life. Also, beware of mountains as the land isn’t flat. This game is okay and I vaguely recall playing it in the 1980s, but it wasn’t a game of choice. Rather something different once in a while.
Released: 1986 Popularity around release date: 4/5 Difficulty: 4/5 Fun: 4/5 Uniqueness: 4/5 Sound: no sound online Graphics: 5/5
One of the classic puzzlers, “Solomon’s Key” requires you to build or knock down stones to climb to retrieve keys. What makes it tricky is that some stones are static and can’t be knocked down. Try it– It’s more difficult than it looks.
The reason I rated “Sonson” so low is that it’s just like a lot of video and arcade games from this era, but doesn’t really have anything special or unique about it. It’s a platform game where you must shoot the enemy while collecting items. Moving from floor to floor is easier than in most games of its type, which just makes this game seem unchallenging. However, if you like ’80s games, it’s worth a try.
“Space Ace” has a simple gameplay, but it’s still very challenging. The object of the game is to travel the “space course” without bumping into any barriers. The tricky part is that the controls are very sensitive, so it takes some practice to get the hang of making the space ship go where you want it to. Anyone that has a good bit of patience and loves a challenge will love this game.
Okay, here’s a classic that everyone should already know. Of course, it’s “Space Invaders”. Who didn’t love this game back in its day? This is a static screen game in which the object is to shoot down all of the enemies as they march across the screen. If you’ve played “Space Invaders” before, and who hasn’t, you’ll certainly want to play it again. If you’ve never played it, you haven’t truly lived, so give it a try.
If you ask me, this is one of the best games of its time. Sure, it’s another driving game, but it’s not really about racing. You’re a spy and you have to maneuver your spymobile around other cars and obstacles. Some cars you can push off the road and others you can shoot, but beware of the enemy’s cars– they will shoot at you. This game is awesome, and makes me wish my own car had an “Oil Slick” button. You have to try it!
There’s not a lot movement in “Star Castle.” It’s on a static screen and your character is a static space ship. You can rotate, but not move. The object is to shoot the enemy ship. Sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it? There’s a catch, of course. The enemy ship is protected by rings of barriers that you must shoot through before you can get to the ship. There are missiles within the barriers that intermittently fly toward your ship at random moments and from different angles. Remember, your ship can’t move, so you have to shoot down these missiles before they shoot you.
The game is pretty fun, though basic in nature. The graphics are also very basic, but clear and not boxy like many games of this era.
(80 through 83) Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Brothers 2, Super Mario Borthers 3, Super Mario World
It’s the “Super Mario Brothers” craze! These games all have about the same type of game play. The “worlds” are a little different in each as are some of the characters, enemies, and items. Unless you’ve been on another planet (or the Mushroom Kingdom,) you know that the Mario games in general are still in high demand. I’m sure you’ve all tried these and if not, you really need to!
“Super Pitfall” is an action adventure game with an “Indiana Jones”-like theme in a platform format. Your character is Pitfall Harry, whose niece and friend have both been lost in the cavern. Just like in a lot of platform games, you can avoid or shoot enemies and can collect objects for extra points. Also, one added feature is that you’re actually in a maze and may need to reenter certain areas again, so memorization is a key factor.
(85 and 86) Tapper and Root Beer Tapper
“Tapper” and “Root Beer Tapper” put you in a Bartender’s position as you attempt to serve people their drinks (though I wonder what bar these game programmers went to where the bartender actually tried to serve everyone, rather than just serve the girls with the nice racks.)
You must serve the drinks in an allotted amount of time before the customers get angry. You can tell how must time you have left with each customer by how close they are to the bar. The closer the customer is to your end of the bar, the less time you have to complete the order. The faster you serve the drinks, the happier the customers and the more tips and points you receive.
The original game, “Tapper,” advertised Budweiser beer, but it wasn’t appropriate for minors. So in 1984 an arcade game called “Root Beer Tapper” came out. Both of these games have the same type of play, just a different beverage. In both games, there are different bar settings depending on the level you’re in:
2 levels have a country western theme with cowboys and cowgirls for customers.
3 levels have a sports theme with athletes as the patrons.
4 levels have a rock theme and punk rockers are the barflies
and 4 levels have a space theme with aliens trying to get their drink on.
If you like action and/or time management games, you’ll love these two. If you’ve never tried a time management type game, try one of these.
Though basic, “Tempest” is a lot of fun and very entertaining. This game is a fixed shooter, where you must blast at the space object coming toward the center. There are different sections in which you may shoot from, so you can move your shooter all around the screen. The first few levels are very simple, but the game gets more challenging as you go. Don’t let the simple graphics and year of release turn you off. It’s not like today’s games, but still a lot of fun.
I’m sure everyone’s heard of “Tetris”. It’s that famous and popular puzzle game where you can manipulate the position and location of random shapes so they fit in the playing area. You obtain points for each line that is filled and the line then dissipates. Of course, you get extra points for clearing out the entire playing area.
“Hatris” is of the same principal, but instead of shapes dropping, hat drop and you must place five identical hats on a person. The game play is similar to “Tetris”, but is different enough to make the game interesting and original in its own right. I highly recommend both of these games.
Released: 1983 Popularity around release date: 2/5 Difficulty: 2/5 Fun: 3/5 Uniqueness: 4/5 Sound: no sound online Graphics: 4/5
In “Tropical Angel”, your character is a girl in a bikini riding on water skis who, by all indications, spends a lot of time on the stair master. The goal of this game is to marry a doctor and retire to the suburbs. Failing that, you must get through each course in the allotted time without bumping into the buoys or falling off. The game has some novel ideas, but they don’t come together in any sort of interesting way.
(NOTE: To start the game, press the number 5 and then press the number 1. Be sure to use the main part of the keypad and not the number keypad to the side. Use the arrow keys for the directional controls and the ‘Control’ key to jump.)
Released: 1983 Popularity around release date: 1/5 Difficulty: 3/5 Fun: 2/5 Uniqueness: 2/5 Sound: no sound online Graphics: 2/5
The goal in this game is to collect balloons before the cars on the screen can catch up with you. You can also jump onto another track or over the cars to keep from being attacked. Different color balloons are worth a different amount of points.
Released: 1982 Popularity around release date: 2/5 Difficulty: 4/5 Fun: 3/5 Uniqueness: 3/5 Sound: 3/5 Graphics: 3/5 (Image by Press The Buttons)
“Xevious” is an overhead shooting game from the early 1980s. Your plane flies simply by the screen scrolling upward. The goal is to shoot down all of the enemies. There are a total of 16 levels and though you may be able to get through the first few levels with ease, it’s very difficult to beat the game!
Though the graphics aren’t the greatest, this is an awesome early fighting game. The main character is Oolong, which is Japanese for “black dragon,” and Chinese for “complimentary tea served to white people.” Oolong fights martial arts masters. If you defeat all of the masters, you will receive the title of “Grand Master”.
“Zaxxon” was a completely original game in its time with graphics and a layout that we had never seen before. The goal of the game is to shoot down as many enemies as you can without your getting shot down yourself. You also need to be careful not to run out of fuel, but you can refuel by simply shooting fuel tanks.
Due to the immense popularity of “Zaxxon”, “Super Zaxxon” was released in 1984. The game play is the same with a few enhancements and it’s just as fun.
Now that you’ve seen the glorified side of these games, let’s look at reality. When you play these games, this could and will happen to you.
Classic Video Game Deaths
Warning! These games are addicting - and deadly! Check out this video.
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(16 and 17) Centipede and Millipede
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(21 and 22) Contra and Super Contra
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(24 and 25) Dig Dug and Dig Dug II
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(34 and 35) Galaxian and Galaga
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(42 through 44) Track and Field, Hyper Sports, and Track and Field II
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