Irony at its best. 22 more pics
It's like rain on your wedding day, or tape on a sign that says don't use tape. [via holytaco]
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Tuesday, February 9
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13 Incredibly WTF Body Modifications
Again and again, human beings have shown off their willingness to pierce, poke and alter every facet of their bodies. Currently, tattoos and certain piercings are seen as utterly socially acceptable, and no-one blinks twice if your barista has 8 earrings and full sleeve tattoos. But some people take it to the next level, with bodymods that stretch belief and might fire up your gag reflex. Here are 13 of the craziest body mods (which don’t involve genitalia, because that would just be too easy). [via popcrunch]
13. Black Light Tattoo
So what do you do if you want a tattoo but you don’t want it to be highly visible? If you’re a normal person, you get it put somewhere discreet, and it’s not an issue. If you’re someone who tends to hang around places where the music repetitively goes oons-oons-oons, and look fondly back on the 90s, then you get a black light tattoo. Much as the name suggests, black light tattoos only show up under black light, meaning they look like a very faint scar most of the time. However, once you get into the club with the rest of your raver friends, the ink glows. It’s a cool effect, but I wonder if the glow degrades over time.
12. Corset Piercing
This bodymod is high on the list because, well, because it’s actually kinda hot. Two rows of piercings run down the back, and then a piece of ribbon is threaded through them. This duplicates the look of the ties on a corset, which has definite aesthetic appeal. Which is doubtless boosted by its usual appearance on the backs of young, attractive women. The downside? Whenever I see one, I just get a horrible mental image of someone ripping the whole thing out.
11. Implanted Magnets
Another one that’s kinda cool. Implanting magnets under your skin, which not only lets you pick up metal objects, but gives you a minor 6th sense. Reportedly, once you’ve implanted the small and powerful objects, you can detect live wires, feel your hard drive spin up, or sense security systems. The magnets are implanted into your fingertip, and when you cross a magnetic field they oscillate slightly, creating a buzzing sensation. As far as bodymods go, it’s a fair bit more practical than most. The downside? The silicon sleeve used to separate your body from the magnet has a tendency to rupture, which leads to the magnet breaking down.
10. The Giant Labret
The labret is a fairly common piercing, one which is beneath your lower lip, and is often seen as a stud or spike. It’s remarkably common, and you probably know someone who has one. So what happens when someone does to the labret piercing as they do to their ears, and start to stretch the hole. And, after it gets big enough, they stick a clear plastic plug in it. You get an unparalleled look at the persons gumline, and I’m sure more than just a couple of really, really odd glances. Looking at that, and seeing how much it alters the shape of the lower lip, you have to wonder if it makes eating difficult.
9. Microdermal Implants
So you want a piece of metal sticking straight out of your body? But you don’t want to shove a piece of metal deep into your muscle structure? Well, lucky for you, there’s a middle-ground. A microdermal implant sticks a small L-shaped bracket into your skin, which leaves just a tiny stud of metal protruding. With this hook, you can stick on all types of studs, jewels, and various spikey shaped things. As far as implants go, it’s relatively non-invasive, and won’t go too deep. You’re still sticking hooks under your skin though.
8. Ear Spiking
There are only two types of people who would get their ears modified to look like this: hardcore fantasy fans, or hardcore Star Trek fans. Neither of whom are usually the primary demographic for extensive body modification, especially ones that involve removing large chunks of flesh. But I’m not one to judge. So if you’re of the type where you think your life would be immeasurably improved by having ears that come to a sharp point, then maybe this is for you. So how is this achieved? Well, you take your ear, carve a wedge of flesh and cartilage out of it and then strap it back together. You keep it bandaged that way for some time, until it heals enough that it won’t rip itself to shreds as soon it becomes unstrapped. Then you have a spiky set of ears!
7. Scarification
Scarification scares me more than almost anything else, but mostly because I find the results oddly attractive. What happens with this procedure, is that you peel off large sections of someone skin in a specific pattern, revealing the tissue beneath. Once this area heals, it will cover with scar tissue, which will be a different color and texture from the surrounding skin. As crazy and gruesome as this is, some people take it a step further, and deliberately aggravate the wound, preventing it from healing normally. This causes greater swelling in the scar tissue, and creates more defined results. The whole process is extremely bloody, and looks more painful than I care to fathom. But I kinda think it looks hot.
6. Saline Inflation
So you want giant lumpy bits added to your body, but don’t want them to be permanent? You still want to look like you got stung by some sort of mutant bee, and have swelling that would make any sane doctor run in terror? Well, how about injecting large amounts of saline solution into your face, and then making divots with your thumb on it? All the cool Japanese are doing it! Now, I would like to digress here for a second, and mention that there’s an entire group of people who like doing this exact same thing, but to their testicles. Seeing as we’re trying to keep this list at least vaguely PG-13, we won’t show any of the images, but it’s pretty horrific. At least saline inflations disappear after a while…
5. Subdermal Implants
But subdermal implants are here to stay! A subdermal implant involves inserting a large object under the skin, and then leaving it to heal. The shape of implant then shows through the skin, creating a raised and slightly terrifying resulting effect. It’s not often in life you’ll run into someone with devil horns or detailed beaded patterns protruding under their skin, and it’s certainly a dramatic look. Subdermal implants are still rare enough that you’ll probably face a fair amount of social ostracization because of it, but hey, what price is art?
4. Suspension
Suspension isn’t so much a single modification, as a religious experience associated with the bodymod world. People who are into suspension literally hang themselves off hooks, usually through the skin of their back. The hooks are inserted just prior to the act itself, meaning the piercings are always fresh, and the person is hoisted up. The hooks must be carefully placed, taking into account the weight of the subject, and their skin’s strength, because if there aren’t a sufficient number of the piercings, then the skin won’t take the weight, and will rip out.
Suspension is never undertaken with anesthesia, as the practitioners feel this would diminish the importance of the act. It’s an intensely spiritual performance for most people, who see it as a form of meditation. Me, I’m just terrified of the whole concept!
3. Split Tongue
You know how snakes have split tongues. Do you want one? Do you yearn with the desire to separately control the left and right halves of your tongue? To slither them around various objects, and creep people out? To give the heebie-jeebies to the general populace? All you have to do is split your tongue down the middle—known as bifurcation—and then stitch it up again to let it heal. In doing so, you’ll get the tool you’ve always wanted to strike fear into the hearts of children.
2. Burning
So, remember when I talked about how scarification could have visually impressive results? Well, what happens when you take that process, remove any chance of it looking good, and add an even stronger undercurrent of self harm? Welcome to the world of self-inflicted burn wounds. The image above was done by cigarette. Slowly. And repeatedly. Over the course of a long, long time. That’s right, it says “love hurts”. And it’s almost entirely illegible. That’s just screwed up.
1. Eye Tattoos
AAAHH! AAAAH! AAAAAAAH! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! Holy crap, that’s just screwed up! That’s right, these folks are getting tattoo ink injected into their eyeballs, effectively dying it blue. There is only one situation where I want to see someone with all-blue eyes, and that’s if they’re Fremen. Apparently getting the ink shoved into your eyeball is relatively painless, but I don’t care. That’s just weird, creepy, nasty and all around unpleasant. Some people can’t stand the idea of having anything near their eyes. Think about them, not look at that needle. Hell, I went through LASIK surgery, I’ve had weird things done to my orbs. But this? This is just gross.
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Monday, February 8
Super Bowl Ads 2010 [VIDEOS]
YouTube delivered on its promise to upload all the Super Bowl Ads as soon as they aired today, with users voting to choose which one will grace the YouTube front page on Thursday.
The tech and web ads were a mixed bunch: Both the established GoDaddy “Too Hot for TV” schtick and Motorola’s decision to put Megan Fox in a bathtub stuck to the “sex sells” mantra, while Monster.com returned with a “Fiddling Beaver.” Intel went for a quirky “lunch room” ad while Vizio chose star power in its Beyonce commercial. We don’t know what inspired Boost Mobile’s ad, meanwhile, but the humor appears to miss the mark [Update: Commenters say it's a remake of the "Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle"].
Our favorite: Google’s sentimental made-for-web ad — it was promoted to Super Bowl status after its success on YouTube. FLO TV’s retrospective on American media is also a very memorable attempt. Which ads are your faves?
Web and Tech Super Bowl Ads 2010
Megan Fox Motorola Ad
FLO TV: My Generation Ad
Monster.com Fiddling Beaver Ad
GoDaddy Super Bowl
Boost Mobile Ad
Google: Parisian Love Ad
Intel Lunch Room Ad
Go Daddy: News
Vizio Beyonce Ad
Cars.com Ad
Other Super Bowl Ads 2010
Snickers Super Bowl Ad
Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains Ad
Hyundai Sonata Ad
Doritos Ad
Robin Hood Spot
Doritos: House Rules Ad
NCIS /CBS Ad
Coca-Cola / Simpsons Ad
Undercover Boss Ad (CBS)
Doritos Casket Ad
Wolfman Ad
The Good Wife
Emerald Nuts: Awesomer
Hyundai Soata / Brett Favre Ad
VW Punchdub
Budweiser Bridge Ad
Denny’s Chicken Birthday Ad
Denny’s Chicken Warning
Alice in Wonderland
Skechers
Homeaway Vacation Ad
Dr Pepper / KISS ad
Select 55 Ice Bottle Ad
Michelob Ultra – Little Bumps Ad
Budweiser Clydesdale Fence Ad
Late Show Ad
Bud Light Asteroid Ad
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Sunday, February 7
The Super Bowl Cheat Sheet: which ad airs when
[via adland] First, we have not received confirmation yet from Google as to whether they are running Parisian Love in the super bowl, third quarter. It's this years dark horse rumor, due to this tweet from Eric Schmidt maybe it will, maybe it won't. Not a bombastic ad by any means, but it's a nice one, however it does break the superbowlian tradition since it's been aired before. Second the spoiler post hasn't been updated since Friday but if you want to read more about each ad, that's the place to be. This is simply a cheat-sheet, with links to the ads we have already published.
See, for your bathroom planning, I decided to make a cheat sheet in order of who airs their ad when, and how long each ad is so you don't miss a sixty. Inside. The only set order is which quarter they air in, we don't know the order within that.
1st quarter
Bud Light: 30 sec - Dude builds a whole house out of beer cans.
Hyundai's Sonata : 30 sec - "Paint"
Boost Mobile : 30 sec - Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle parody.
Bridgestone: 30 sec - A "Whale of a tale"
Bud Light: 30 sec - Asteroid attack, astronomers drink bud.
Coca-Cola: 60 sec - Coca Cola can even bring Happiness to Mr Burns from the Simpsons
Bud Light: 30 sec - Guys' voices take on a strange tone.
Doritos : 30 sec - Crash the Superbowl contest winner.
Doritos: 30 sec : Second place in Crash the superbowl airs
Doritos: 30 sec - Third place in Crash the superbowl airs.
Focus on the Family: 30 sec : Tim Tebow and his mother Pam don't say the word "abortion"
GoDaddy.com: 30 sec: Danica Patrick gets a backrub. Dweebs drool.
Mars' Snickers : 30 sec - Betty White and Abe Vigoda play football.
Monster Worldwide 30 sec - That beaver and his fiddle.
2nd quarter
Cars.com - 60 sec Timothy Richman from DDB.
Budweiser 60 sec - Teamwork saves beer truck
Bud Light 45 sec - Castaways
CareerBuilder 30 sec :One of the winners from hire my TV ad
Dockers 30 sec: Men prancing about in their skivvies singing "I wear no pants"
Dr Pepper Cherry 30 sec: Kiss and mini tribute Kiss band sing "Calling Dr. Love."
FLO TV 30 sec: Remixed TV to the tune of remixed My generation
Hyundai 30 sec: Brett Favre in ten years.
Papa John's : 30 sec - Founder John Schnatter delivers pizza.
Teleflora : 30 sec - Don Rickles is the voince of some sad looking tulips.
TruTV : 30 sec - Groundhog Day with Pittsburgh Steelers' Troy Polamalu.
Viacom's Paramount Pictures - Shutter Island.
Walt Disney Pictures - Alice in Wonderland
Half time show
Universal Orlando 30 sec: Harry Potter The Wizarding World at Universal Orlando opens this spring
FLO TV 30 sec: Guy goes shopping with girlfriend, while sports commentator Jim Nantz gives us a play-by-play
3rd quarter
Walt Disney Pictures 30 sec - Prince of Persia
Volkswagen 30 sec: "Punch Dub" is played instead of "Punch Buggy"
U.S. Census Bureau 30 sec: Ed Begley Jr. is trying to arrange 300 million people in the movie "snapshot of america". To get an idea of the ad, check the pre-production meeting.
Denny's 30 sec: (Muppet) Chickens will have to work hard to supply eggs for the free Grand Slam breakfast on Tuesday (PETA are not amused)
Motorola 30 second: The teaser showed a bubblebath. The release claims a nude celebrity. What the ad proclaiming the power of "motoblur" is still a total secret.
NFL 60 seconds: The best fans on the planet
Kia's Sorento 60 sec: A sock monkey and various warped childhood icons take the Kia for a dreamlike joyride. It's gonna be awesome.
KGB 30 sec- Two skiny guys wrestle their way out of sumo wrestling, one with KGB the other with search.
HomeAway 30 sec: Spoof of National Lampoon's Vacation
E-Trade 30 sec: The talking baby explains to his baby girlfriend why he hasn't called.
Coca-Cola 60 sec: A sleepwalker manages to get through some rough terrain and gets cold Coke.
Bridgestone 30 sec: "Your tyres or your life" - in the future wet planet, tyres are very important.
Michelob Ultra 30 sec: Ultra fits life of Lance Armstrong.
Select 55 15 sec: World's lightest beer has only 55 calories.
4th quarter
Anheuser-Busch 60 sec: The Clydesdale spot! Showing "Clydesdale friend".
Audi A3 TDI 60 second: The Green Police (set to Cheap Tricks song)
Denny's 15 sec: FREE BREAKFAST if it's your birthday
Diamond Foods 30 sec: The Double barrelled ad for both Emerald Nuts and Pop Secret popcorn treats.
Electronic Arts 30 sec: Go to hell / Hell awaits
GoDaddy.com 30 sec: Too hot for TV / News Interview
Honda Accord Crosstour 30 sec: The animated funky Squirrel
Vizio 60 sec: Superstar Beyoncé makes her debut as Vizio spokewoman
Dark Horses
When will these air? We'll find out in a few hours. :)
Intel 30 sec: Engineer upsets a robot by boasting about how the new intel is smarter
Dodge - we don't know how long it is, nor when it airs.
Google - Rumor has it that Parisian Love will air, but nobody has confirmed this to us.
Dove Mens Care - 30 seconds - from birth to man, including first kiss.
Another Universal Pictures trailer, but we don't know which one.
Skechers 2 * 15 sec : Joe Montana and consumer testimonials about the Shape-Ups athletic shoe.
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Weatherman goes absolutely nuts about on coming storm [vid]
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