Tired Reunion Acts
There's a reason why Limp Bizkit stopped selling records in the late 90s/early 2000's. Call it a great awakening, but its as if the world finally woke up and realized that Fred Durst never had anything important to say, and the music community was better off for it. Unfortunately for us, Limp Bizkit, Creed, Vanilla Ice and a host of other wash-ups have begun dragging themselves out of obscurity and holding reunion shows. This may be the biggest waste of arena space since "WWE's Sunday Night Heat."
Uggs With Skirts
Wearing snow boots with a miniskirt makes about as much sense as giving Lil-Wayne a guitar to dance around with -- it just isn't working out. Sadly, 2009 saw both of these pointless crazes come to be. Whenever I take a girl out to a bar and she shows up wearing this combination, I immediately begin to wonder if she went to college. (Yes, the fact that she'll put out on the first night is a foregone conclusion). So, if it's hot enough to wear a skirt and a tank top, there's no goddamned need to wear blizzard shoes. Got it? Not only does it look ridiculous... no wait, it just plain looks ridiculous.
The Douchebag Look
Just look at that man-boobed, ravioli-eating waste of a life....Is he wearing lipstick? her lipstick? Blame it on the Jager-bombs, but bars and clubs have been over run with douchebaggery the past several years. Strangely enough, rather than rejecting these hair-spray junkies, the world appears to have embraced the fake and bake fad and honored it with a reality TV show and countless comedic websites. We blame the show "Growing Up Gotti" for telling guys, "if you look like a juiced-up metro-sexual, you'll get chicks." Ladies, in 2010, just say no to douchebags and lets watch this fascination choke and die like the roots of their hair.
Agenda Pushing "Documentaries"
The last few years have seen a surge of so-called "documentaries" by agenda pushing public figures. It all started with Fahrenheit 9/11, then slowly the world began seeing trailers for, An Inconvenient Truth, Capitalism: A Love Story, Religulous, Super Size Me, the list goes on and on...and on. More often than not, intelligent audience members can see through the so-called "facts" being presented and realize that these propaganda pushers are rarely out for the good of the issue. In fact, more often than not the only "love story" these film-makers have is with their over-bloated sense of self-importance.
The Hipster Look
(source)Irony is tired, why not dress like an adult? Every generation has fashion trends that they look back on 20 years later with shame and disgust. In 2000s, the "hipster" fad precisely this. Just think, this look will be remembered as the baggy Hammer pants of our age. It's almost hard to decide whether hipsters or the Gotti wannabes look more foolish, but I think we can all agree that 2010 would be a much better place without fedoras, buddy-holly glasses and pastel colored pants.
Just when you thought it was impossible to innovate on the blanket, along came the Snuggie - a blanket with sleeves that has taken America by storm. Otherwise known a cotton nightgown/monk robe, the Snuggie fooled us all into believing that a blanket could be so much more. With ads that feature people wearing the damned thing to sporting events, one has to wonder what the benefit of looking so foolish is. Is wrapping a blanket around yourself that inconvenient? As if that weren't bad enough, the company has recently released the "Dog Snuggie," a Snuggie made specially for your pooch. The last time I saw someone try to put one of these on his pit-bull, the dog tore it to shreds, probably mistaking it for a giant chew-toy.
The Twilight Craze
Come on, people. Let's put the story about teenage vampires who want to love and be loved behind us in the new year.
It was funny at first, but now it's just getting pathetic. Everyone has a bad day, it doesn't mean your life categorically sucks. Yet, ever since FMyLife.com because super-popular earlier this year, it has become impossible to log into Facebook or talk to people at a party without someone saying, "and thats when I spilled coffee on myself on the way to work! FML!" It seems the website itself has given people an socially accepted way for becoming whiney and annoying. And, I hate these people.
Reality Dating Shows
Over the course of the last several years, the world has seen a myriad of tired reality dating shows. "Flavor of Love," "Rock of Love," "Tila Tequila's A Shot at Love," "Real Chance of Love," to name a few. Every one of these shows has a common and predictable plot: Some washed up celebrity (or pseudo-celebrity) who needs to get paid again gets a bunch of no name amateur actors to come on the show and act like they're in love. Embarrassing moments and alligator tears ensue until the 'star' finally choses someone to love (at least until next season! What a surprise!) Our dating lives cannot be so depraved that this is considered quality entertainment.
The Guy's Emo Haircut
Has anyone ever stopped to think about what this haircut does to one's driving ability? With one functional eye and a stream of text messages constantly coming in about the next "super-sick local show," it seems driving with this haircut should be a crime on par with DUI. Not to mention the fact that it makes you look like a depressed 12 year old boy who took to his hair with a pair of art scissors, but that's beside the point.
Note: Shutter shades are only useful in bars when you wanna make out with someone but you don't want to have to look at them.
What happened to the days when the youth would rally for causes and try to make a difference? Clicking the "join" button on Facebook causes is perhaps the most empty and meaningless pledge of support one can make. Yet it seems every time we log in we have cause invitations waiting for us from some self-righteous college kid who just heard his first lecture on world hunger. Here's a thought: If you care so much about feeding the hungry, why not buy some food and give it to a hungry person? Apparently these Facebook cause-huxters have all the energy in the world to write long paragraphs about world tragedies, but asking them to actually get out of their chair and do something about them is expecting too much effort.Did you like this post? Leave your comments below!
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