10 Most Suggestive Cacti On Earth

Cactus in front of a hotel in Cinque Terre, Italy
Image: Alex T.

[via environmentalgraffiti] Today, we’d like to take a look at a plant that is especially close to our, er, hearts – the cactus! The following pictures will prove that this prickly green friend can be quite a source of amusement.

First, let us introduce the species with a little help from Wikipedia: “Cacti are distinctive and unusual plants (you bet), which are adapted to extremely arid and hot environments (absolutely), showing a wide range of anatomical and physiological features (ah-huh, we’re listening) which conserve water. Their stems have adapted to become photosynthetic and succulent, while the leaves have become the spines for which cacti are well known. Cacti come in a wide range of shapes and sizes” – though we all know that size doesn’t matter.

This red cactus is apparently common in Yucatan and even said to have, er, enhancing properties if boiled and eaten as a soup. Right…
Red cactus
Image: Unknown photographer via Squidoo

The next specimen belongs to the Cephalocereus gaumeri species and is often referred to as “old man” cactus, because of the white wool on top looking like long white hairs – not what you’re thinking. The limp things hanging down from the cactus fruits are flower remains. Maybe it’s not a cactus man after all?

Cephalocereus gaumeri
Image via Backyard Nature

What this cactus seems to have too much of …
Image: Becka Spence

… this one seems to lack. Little blue pills, anyone?
Cactus gone soft
Image: Jay Free

It’ll take some balls to come out of hiding:
Wall cactus somewhere in Chile
Image: Emilio

Tom, Dick and Harry playing the same old tune…
Cacti collection
Image: Unknown photographer via Picture for fun

Pretties in pink:
Pretty cacti on Lanzarote
Image: Jay Gooby

Subtlety is not his strength:
Cactus in Texas
Image: Unknown photographer via Holybug

Going somewhere?
Arizona cactus
Image: Frobo512

At the risk of this post missing good taste by a few inches, here’s a real “cactus” problem regarding someone’s “red ball cactus” that will leave you speechless:

“I believe that is the name, it was a green stock with a red prickley ball on the top. I recieved it in first grade and a few years later, the ball dried up. I still have it and the ball is still attached but it is dried up and yellow/brown…. Could you let me know if there is anything I could do to make my cactus less overwhelming?”

Told you! There’s nothing we could possibly add after this excursion into nature’s sense of humour.

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