It's nice to know that we're just a Chien-Ming Wang or a Dick Trickle away from a memorable sports headline. Here are 12 headlines from mainstream newspapers and websites that could easily be found in the gutter. [via holytaco]
12. Bartolo Colon
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/bartolocolon.jpg)
That must be one giant bidet.
11. Kerry Wood
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/kerrywood4.jpg)
Whoa, buddy. Isn’t that for her to decide?
10. Chien-Ming Wang/Alex Rodriguez
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/wang_arod.jpg)
In the long and illustrious history of the New York Times, I can safely say this is the best headline they’ve ever printed.
9. Damarus Johnson
![funny headline, sexual, funny, sports headline](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/johnson_ruler_funny_sports_headline.jpg)
Hmmm, would a yardstick help?
8. Notah Begay
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/notahbegay.jpg)
You hear that, Jake Gyllenhaal? Just relax and everything will be fine.
7. Houston Nutt
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/houstonnutt1.jpg)
Should they hang low? Should they swing to and fro'? Should I tie them in a knot or should I tie them in a bow?
6. Randy "Big Unit" Johnson
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/bigunit.jpg)
I wonder if this "comeback" will also be "bareback."
5. Bartolo Colon (Part 2)
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/colon2.jpg)
Considering Tuesday was White Castle Crave Case night, I’m guessing it fails.
4. Rusty Kuntz
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/rusty2.jpg)
Maybe the Pirates should hire some nicer coaches and they would be able to sign some better free agents.
3. Luther Head
![funny sports headlines, funny headlines, uninentional](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/head.jpg)
Never underestimate the calming effect of a little oral sex.
2. Dick Trickle
![funny headline, sports, unintentional, dick trickle](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/dick_trickle_funny_headline.jpg)
OK, this one was too easy.
1. Dick Pole
![funny sports headline, sports, newspaper headline, funny, dick pole, sharper, mound staff](http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/images/dickpole.jpg)
So…many…double…entendres...
--Written by friend of HolyTaco, Paul Ulane. He is also a noted eater.
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