It's nice to know that we're just a Chien-Ming Wang or a Dick Trickle away from a memorable sports headline. Here are 12 headlines from mainstream newspapers and websites that could easily be found in the gutter. [via holytaco]
12. Bartolo Colon

That must be one giant bidet.
11. Kerry Wood

Whoa, buddy. Isn’t that for her to decide?
10. Chien-Ming Wang/Alex Rodriguez

In the long and illustrious history of the New York Times, I can safely say this is the best headline they’ve ever printed.
9. Damarus Johnson

Hmmm, would a yardstick help?
8. Notah Begay

You hear that, Jake Gyllenhaal? Just relax and everything will be fine.
7. Houston Nutt

Should they hang low? Should they swing to and fro'? Should I tie them in a knot or should I tie them in a bow?
6. Randy "Big Unit" Johnson

I wonder if this "comeback" will also be "bareback."
5. Bartolo Colon (Part 2)

Considering Tuesday was White Castle Crave Case night, I’m guessing it fails.
4. Rusty Kuntz

Maybe the Pirates should hire some nicer coaches and they would be able to sign some better free agents.
3. Luther Head

Never underestimate the calming effect of a little oral sex.
2. Dick Trickle

OK, this one was too easy.
1. Dick Pole

So…many…double…entendres...
--Written by friend of HolyTaco, Paul Ulane. He is also a noted eater.
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