PETA asks Ben and Jerry’s to use human breast milk

[via emulsioncompulsion] If People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has there way, Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream will soon be as good for you as mother’s milk. PETA is urging Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield to replace cow’s milk they use in their products with human breast milk.

If only Russ Meyer had lived long enough to see this.

According to a statement issued by PETA, their “request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves.”

At first I thought it was udder nonsense, but as PETA put it, “the breast is the best,” so long as the containers don’t lactate. My mouth is drooling at the mere thought of such oedipal edibles as Chunky Monkey Mammary, Peanut Butter D Cup, and Fresh Georgia Teat.

Hey, I wanna’ tell you, this could turn Dollywood into the nation’s ice cream capital, ladies and gentlemen. And if Crosby used “the cream of the stars” as a secrete ingridient in his vat of vanilla, what’s wrong with a little boob juice?

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