8 Fictional Cities You Wouldn't Want to Live in



Creators of fiction are always coming up with new and exciting places for their characters to dwell in, but not all of them can be utopias. In fact, some are cities and towns that would make you wish you were back in your boring old suburb again. Let's take a look, shall we?

8. Bedrock (The Flintstones)

You know how annoyed you get at your appliances when they don't work right? Now imagine that those appliances could talk and were always making witty remarks to you. Oh and also they are dinosaurs that could tear your flesh from your bones. This sounds like two things: the plot of Jurassic Park 11 (it's inevitable) and a place that I would never take a lease out on. How can you sleep when you know your record player could get a hankering for a midnight snack and fly over to your babies crib with a thirst for infant blood? If mauling by a carnivorous can opener fits into you definition of a "gay old time," then by all means, move into this modern stone age suburb. You're in store for yabba dabba death.

7. New York City (Marvel Comics)



Living in the same town as Spider-Man seems like it would kick ass. You'd get to see superheroes around every corner since about 99% of the thousands of Marvel characters all live in the city. Checking out Avengers Tower and the Fantastic Four's Baxter Building would be awesome. But then things won't seem quite so cool when Doctor Octopus knocks some rubble onto your head from fifty feet above. Or the Juggernaut leaves a giant hole in your house during a jog. And with the amount of comics that Marvel has to put out in a month, you can bet that traffic would be awful. A battle between Dr. Doom and Iron Man is bound to cause delays. Now imagine that going down four times a week.

6. Duckburg (Ducktales)



Duckburg wouldn't be a terrible place to live, until you realize what a terrorist and criminal target it is. When you have a resident like Scrooge McDuck who hoards millions of dollars in unmarked currency in a giant swimming pool, it's just an invitation for repeated attacks on the town and an influx of criminals. Not to mention the occasional crazy witch after his lucky penny and caveman brought back through time to cause a ruckus. And although Scrooge acts like a Republican, he sure doesn't employ Reaganomics and the idea of a "trickle down" economy to boost the local market. He keeps it all locked away for his own perverse enjoyment as he swims through it, never truly repaying his town for the chaos he brings upon them.

5. Zion (The Matrix)



I know this goes against the message of the movies and all, but if this turns out to be the Matrix and any freedom fighters are listening, please, leave me plugged in. After witnessing the dirty existence of the small, rag-clad community that dares to stand up to the robots, I'd really rather live a computer simulated existence that has things like restaurants and entertainment in it. The highlight of a Zionist's existence is apparently a rave, which really isn't much is a payoff for living in constant fear of weird sperm looking robots drilling into your home at any time. Sure, if you stay in the Matrix there's a chance that an Agent might decide to overtake your body and wipe you out of existence, but what's the likelihood of that happening? Don't touch that plug Morpheus.

4. The Ewok Village (Star Wars)



Any society that is eager to worship C-3P0 as a god is a troubled one at best. And despite how adorable they may be, let's not forget how Luke and the gang first ended up in their little village: they were going to eat them! If you stumble into this Endorian metropolis without a Jedi to sufficiently scare them, you're dinner. This is in addition to a constant fear of falling to your death from their tree-top homes and subjection to conversations that consist only of "yub-yub."

3. Liberty City (Grand Theft Auto 3)



Anyone who played Grand Theft Auto 3 might already feel as though Liberty City is a second home, but no matter how fun the game is, you have to realize how terrifying it would be to live in. Life might not be so fun-filled in LC when you don't have the health cheat to fall back on and it's someone else running you over with an ambulance and then throwing Molotov cocktails on top of you. Plus, with mottos like "The worst place in America" and "Where dreams go to die" there's not much that can be said to defend a place. Unless you're into killing hookers. Then look no farther.

2. The Floating Village (Waterworld)




The fact that dirt and orange trees were worth more than gold and silver on this place is enough to never want to live there, but you also have to take into account that if you get sick of this place there's really nowhere to run off to. It's just endless water all around. Imagine being stuck on a little village in the middle of the ocean with your neighbors for forever. Not a fate I would want to befall me. And the worst part? You'd be stuck in a really terrible movie.

1. Smurf Village (The Smurfs)



Sure, living in mushroom houses with a bunch of peace loving communist Smurfs sounds like a good existence. That is until you've been there for five minutes and begin to notice that every other word is replaced by "smurf." Verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs; they have no rules when it comes to smurf. They can use it for anything at anytime, leaving you at first simply confused and later driving you to madness. You'll want to smurf every smurfing smurf that smurfs your way. Also there's only one girl in the entire place.

[via omglist]


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